Posted by: The Chhamanator | November 22, 2007

For Men Only – The Urinal Quiz

Take the first annual, Choose-A-Urinal(c) Challenge!
Men should ace this test (or suffer the wrath of men everywhere)… women are on their own. But, there IS a code of the restroom that MUST be followed.

The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men’s room. An X above the number will indicate “in use.”

(Sample)

|   |    | x |   |    | x | indicates men are at stalls 3
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | and 6.

-------------------------

You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you are to correctly stand. Good luck!

Easy Section
1.

|    | x |   | x |    |    | (Stalls 2 and 4 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

Your choice:

6 – It’s the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.

————————————————–

2.

| x |   |    |    |   |    | (1 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

Your choice:

6 – Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.

————————————————–

Kind Of Tricky Section:
3.

|   |    |    |   |    |    | (empty)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

Your choice:

1 or 6 – You are tacitly saying, “I don’t want anyone next to me.”

————————————————–

4.

|   | x |    | x |    | x | (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

Your choice:

4 (kind of tricky). 1 – You’re stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are stadium restrooms where the herd thunders in.

————————————————–

Subtle, Tricky, But Important To Know Section
5.

|   | x |    |    | x | x | (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

Your choice:

5 (HARD!). 4 – Believe it or not, 1 and 3 “couples” you with the guy in stall 2. And we wouldn’t want THAT now, would we? ;-D This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice to say, only we men would understand!

————————————————–

VERY Tricky Indeed Section
6.

| x | x |    |    | x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

Your choice:

6 (DAMN HARD!). NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals “open up” a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD…for god’s sake, man! …use a doored stall.

————————————————–

Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:

* NO Talking, unless it’s a good friend… but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain’t no clubhouse.
* I don’t think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another’s elbow is of the highest offense.
* NO Singing. Period.
* Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only…”Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again”.

Who’d have thought SO much goes into a seemingly simple process?

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Responses

  1. Damn.. I just pee on the 1st empty pot i see!! Is that so wrong?? hehe..
    Anyways, heres the situation…. The toilets at our office is like something like this..

    [WASH BASIN]
    — — — —
    1 x 2
    — — — —
    3 x 4
    — — — —
    5 x 6
    — — — —
    7 8

    The odd- numbered pots face left and the even ones face right !! What do you say now, Mr. I-can-solve-rubiks-cube-with-one-hand-behind-my-back-and-a-blindfold ??? HA HA HA.. 😀

  2. Ok.. Its more like this…

    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
    | x | x | x | x |
    | x | x | x | x |
    | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

  3. I detest this cynically and eccentrically egocentric way that men are shown to give other men the wide berth, especially in matters of urinary and scatological excretion. The urinals are designed for men to spend a penny, and are not showpieces you have to shy away from like a frightened hinny simply because some other members of your sex have taken fancy to a few of them. It is all very ridiculous and a waste of time, energy and spirit to think about matters so trivial that they never could seem as “matters” to people who had their heads screwed on the right way. If one does not fancy rubbish at home, nor should one in his mind. I never ever bother whether I am standing next to someone else when taking a leak. I may very well stand sandwiched between men on either side of myself. Could I ever bother? Because I am not a screwball. Men who prefer to stay as much away as they could from other men while relieving themselves seem to have their screws loose!

  4. I think this whole idea about not peeing together is really sick and just SUCKS! What will happen if men stand beside each other while peeing? Have they forgotten the Ten Commandments of God? How could they let their “egos” act as an impediment? They have forgotten that pride is one of the seven deadly sins and they shall have to bear the consequences of such kind of sin, especially one of the kind that may be committed for something as small as not being able to bear pissing together. This is among the various causes that account for insanity.

  5. I think people who even suggest that men cannot pee next to each other oughtta crawl back under their rocks! The beasts!


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