Posted by: luliana | April 18, 2008

Medical related jokes

(The stories posted below are true, and involves people who are known to me personally.)

1. A patient was tired of sleeping. So he sat on the attendant’s chair, while the attendant shifted up on to the bed. A few minutes later the nurse on-duty came, and without uttering a word simply inserted a thermometer into the attendant’s mouth, who during this time was quietly sleeping on the bed. A minute later, the nurse returned, read the thermometer and told, “Your fever has disappeared completely. You will recover very soon”. At this point, everyone realised what was actually going on and had a good laugh.

2. A doctor asked an old man from a village whether his children had jobs or not. The old man replied that one of his daughter was working as a teacher. The doctor then asked him in which school she was working. The old man promptly replied, “Sunday school”.

3. First year medicos were having their first histology class. After a brief introduction, the demonstrator told the students to draw a detailed diagram of a cell and submit it the next day. He was about to disperse the class when one student stood up and asked’ “Sir, animal or plant cell?”. Everyone burst out laughing.

4. This incident happened during a first year anatomy practical exams. On a table, all the bones would be arranged neatly from which we would get questions. Rarely we get to choose the bones, but usually it was the examiner’s choice. One student entered while the examiner was having his snack. He was having tea along with biscuits which was placed on the same table as the bones. The examiner told, “Pick one”. The student dutifully obeyed, took two biscuits and politely replied, “Thank you sir”. Smart ass!

5. The HOD of microbiology department of our college is a simple looking guy. In fact, he doesn’t look much of a doctor. So one day, a new second year student went to submit his practical copy in the department office. The HOD, fortunately or unfortunately, was also in the office at this time. Now this guy had no idea that he was standing right in front of the HOD. So he approached him, thinking that he was the office clerk, showed his practical copy and asked in Assamese, “Dada, where do I submit this?”

6. An absent-minded doctor was checking a patient in his private chamber. He asked the patient to lie down on the bed in the next room, and told him that he would be conducting an examination within a very short time after finishing his paper work. Then he forgot all about him, went to the hospital and came back in the evening. Surprise surprise, the patient was still waiting for him.

7. An ophthalmologist asked one patient to read the eye examination chart. “Can you read the smallest letters on the last line?” “Not at all”. “What about the next line?” “Nope”. They went higher and higher, but the patient still could not read anything. “Can you at least read the largest letters on the top?” “Of course”, replied the patient. “GODREJ”. She was trying to read the letters on the refrigerator below the chart the whole time.

8. Last one, and this is my favourite. An old man frequently complained of ill health. His family had taken him to several specialists, but to no avail. On the advice of a friend, they took him to one doctor. The doctor, without even performing an examination, told the old man, “Sir, for your age, you look so fit and strong, so healthy…blah blah blah…”. He didn’t even prescribe any medicine. Upon reaching home, the old man told his family that he was feeling better already. The funny part..The doctor they consulted was a gynaecologist!! It’s all in the mind folks!

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Responses

  1. Good job. Someone linked to this post. Check it out from the dashboard.

  2. I really like the last one..my grandma was much like the old man you described.


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